Resident Evil: The Ultimate Comedy

Because of my advance knowledge as Jill, I know that I'll need about 12 magnum rounds for the Tyrant, and that there are 30. Which means I can afford to take out a few hunters with this bad boy. That'll be very helpful, considering there are a lot of hunters and a considerable amount of ground to cover. Right now, the rooms outside the save rooms are clear, but every room connecting to those rooms is full of hunters, and I can't easily get out of here without a few stabs.

I grab the jewel upstairs, ignoring the hunter. I'm probably not going to need to come back here since Barry gave me the code to the door here in Jill's playthrough. That means I have to clear out one of the hunters outside the tiger statue room, and one in the hallway the first zombie was in. (the two western interior hallways that aren't on the upper left side) I note from looking at the map again that I never went back into the keeper's room after my earlier death, which means I missed a magazine and a pack of shells. Which means I now have about 150 pistol rounds. I'm going to have to make the most of that in a moment.

That went well.

Damn, taking out this guy is a hard pain. It'd almost be worth it to use the magnum just to not deal with using the shotgun on these things. You have such a small margin for error for hitting them with any real damage that it's very dangerous. It's absolutely brutal in some rooms, where you have a small margin for hitting them to begin with, like the above screenshot. Hey, just like in Alone in the Dark, only right now I'm actually shooting things as opposed to punching them.

I go through the hunters, as usual with this strategy, including taking out the ones above the eastern save room by exploiting how stairs work. Now for the second fight with Yawn, this time I'm bringing the magnum. If I need more than the 16 shots I brought along, I'm screwed anyway.

The fight proceeds quite differently as Chris. Chris just sort of looks blankly at the piano, and the Yawn does his thing. The magnum is a poor substitute for the grenade launcher. Either the acid rounds are truly that much more effective against it or there's some trick to the fight that using the magnum misses. I kept running out of magnum ammo somehow, yet beat it with just as many, if not fewer shells. It's such a bizarre thing. After killing him, there's no coming out of the hole and no secondary path to the locked off areas, through the hole you go, and out the 1st floor you will come.

This is pretty much unchanged, except the strategy to get out, and another desk key. I brought the magnum along for the hunter, given that it's useless against Yawn. Two shots to take out the one of the two in the hallway just outside the dining room, and I should be able to get through the area easily. It's not that difficult, though getting out and then back in the room after taking out one is a must.

Because upstairs has one method, a lot of zombies aren't optional. Now, this doesn't really put the player in an inescapable situation when they enter a room, but I did find myself getting bit by fallen zombies quite a bit. Takes me a few trips, but I get everything, shotgun shells, magnum rounds, battery and MO disk. Outside, while it turns out that two zombie dogs are easy to manage, three are not. So. Very not. Now it's guaranteed that they'll approach from multiple angles, whereas two seemed to stick together.

At least with my first attempt. Thanks to not making a save state after last saving the game, I have to do everything after Yawn again. (hey, it saves 15 seconds when you start and just as much time if you die) This puts it into perspective. Location is everything. You have to set yourself up somewhere where they can't do that. It's not a guarantee you'll take them out hit free, but it helps a heck of a lot.

Bringing the magnum down to the tunnels, if I need the shotgun against the spider, I can always return later. The Y-shaped hallway that Barry was in as Jill has another key difference this playthrough, there's a flamethrower on the wall. It uses the same mechanism as the shotgun in the mansion, only it locks doors. As it locks the way out, there's not much point to it. As it only "throws flame for 9 seconds." Not the worst example of Japanese English this game, but still an awkward statement.

There are no hunters in the adjoining room. Curious. The power plant still has a first aid spray, but now it's accompanied by shotgun shells. Enrico, this time around is suspicious of Chris, telling him to not come any closer. He says double crosser and tries to shoot Chris, before someone off-screen shoots him. Chris then has the audacity to ask if someone is there, and then asking what Enrico meant by double crosser. Chris is very dumb in this game.

I make my way out, and there are two hunters now. I'm not risking having to pick up the hex crank with these guys around. Somehow Chris is oneshotting these guys with the magnum. My later Tyrant fight thanks you, Chris. The boulder is almost the same, this time magnum ammo is behind it. I think even with this addition 6 rounds I would be better off with the shotgun. And the flamethrower, because there's another one here. This allows me to bypass the spider boss by just burning off the webs. I guess I could do that with Jill, but eh. And I actually need the flamethrower, the door in the next hallway has a slot for one.

This goes as normal after this, I get the second MO disk, the other medal for the fountain, and begin my descend into the lab. It's at this point I realize something, the third MO disk is in a desk. Will I need a key for it? No, because it's not in the desk, it's on the desk. Like last time, I took advantage of the reappearance of the zombies to use some of my last pistol ammo.

I miss when people were this enthusiastic about computers.

Chris is very enthusiastic on the computer. Otherwise it's fairly typical for a while. Get the key from the second basement briefing room, dash downstairs to the first MO disk room. The one with 4 zombies. The only real trouble is that circular room with the respawning zombies. The camera angles there are just terrible, you have too many blind spots. Still no zombies in the room in the center of it, either.

It turns out if you try to save ammo here, you get a jump scare.

Final total of magnum ammo before the boss, including inside the gun? 30. I should remind you at this point that I was not stingy with using it this time around, I killed at least 6 hunters with it. And my shotgun shell count is at 70. I really over prepared for this game...

...Or not.

Oh, yeah, hello Chris getting one more monster per room. Yes, I enjoy having to fight three Chimeras at a time. Though as with last time, it's not that hard to just run past them, and interacting with important objects isn't that dangerous. With the power connected to the elevator and the three codes, I first go to see Jill. She says that Wesker is...and Chris cuts her off before he can finish. Well, that was lame. Off to see Wesker then.

Hey, someone found a gun, she seems like the kind of girl who wouldn't shoot a fly.

Rebecca shows up as I activate the elevator. Good, I was starting to worry I did something wrong. She saw me in the garden and caught up here. He tells her not to go out alone and they share an awkward, silent elevator ride. They round the corner to find...

I'm almost surprised Rebecca doesn't pull a Barry here.

Wesker, how shocking. Despite me saying Chris was an idiot earlier, he tells Wesker he knows he's working for Umbrella. Funny, Wesker doesn't really have us at a disadvantage, considering that, oh, wait, Rebecca is incompetent with a gun. Wesker says he doesn't work for Umbrella anymore, and he's willing to do anything, including getting rid of "you vigilante STARS". Interesting mistake, I wonder what it was in the original Japanese? Because Japanese has their own word for vigilante, so this must be some accidental corrupting of vigilant. Chris talks of how the virus accidentally broke free, creating an accidental "biological weapon", nearly creating a title drop for the Japanese version. (and no less shoehorned in than Sweet Home and it's Resident Evil reference)

Wesker almost seems sorrowful about his actions, resulting in the deaths of his teammates...then he admits to shooting Enrico and blows away Rebecca. Chris let's out an underwhelming "Rebecca!" Wesker tells that he has something to show him. The Tyrant.

The more I look at this cutscene, the worse it gets.

Afterwards, Wesker sounds really proud of the Tyrant, while Chris starts laughing. Wesker tells him to stop it, like they're siblings and Chris is annoying him. Chris outright says that he's pitiful, this "savior" is a failure. Wesker is so butthurt about this he activates Tyrant. Holy crap, Wesker is that butthurt that Chris is laughing at this. After the tank drains and Tyrant breaks out, Wesker tells Chris to go to hell...

Damn, he won't be in Resident Evil 3.

And then the Tyrant kills him. Chris: "You can't kill me!" 30 magnum rounds and three full heals would agree with that Chris. Even getting hit three times doesn't require one use, jees. Eight magnum shots later and Tyrant was dethroned. Somehow even less impressive the second time around. The console has a door switch, but otherwise the room, even with Wesker in it, is empty. I leave, going to get Jill.

Wouldn't you know it, but Rebecca is alive, thanks to a bullet proof jacket. After another awkward elevator ride, Rebecca gets Chris's attention, just as he was running off. Telling him that they need to blow this place up, because there's a lot of research material here. They agree, and she runs off to the central power room, where the "triggering system" is. I don't know if I should go after her, but I'll go for Jill first since she has a gun now. It goes off when I reach the central hallway, guess that answers my question.

A very appropriate teammate hug.

Jill is very happy to see Chris, whereas Chris is just his usual self. Hilarious. Granted, considering the end cinematic as Jill has him smiling while she rests on his shoulders, this isn't a one-sided, somewhat inappropriate flirtation. Or at least it would if the RE series wasn't allergic to giving its cast a happy ending. The escape out the long hallway happens much the same way. Though Rebecca gives me quite the cause for concern by only showing up just as I put the battery in it's socket. They'll hold off the, well, judging by the sound, Chimeras, while I go light a flare.

The second Tyrant battle goes much as before, though I put on a bigger show of actually fighting it. Hey, need to use that magnum ammo sometime!

The ending cutscene is almost identical to as Jill, except instead of Barry, Rebecca is on the other side, lying down. Tough first day on the job. The credits show all the important scenes as Chris, but because I never told Rebecca she could move around, I missed a few of them in the game itself.

Nice. I suspect what cost me a lot of time was knifing the zombies early on. Effective, but time consuming. That's it for this version except the summary.

This Session: 3 hours 30 minutes

Total Time: 24 hours 00 minutes