Tomb Raider - Anniversary: Won

I'm not really sure how this one's going to go. To begin with, Natla's Mines was a weird level. Even if Tomb Raider really shouldn't focus on combat, it was kind of weird how little combat it had. Natla's goons just sort of came out of nowhere and died as they came. Larson is one of them now...for some reason. This is much the same, just with an exit hole you can't actually get out of and objects which Lara should be able to move, but are solid as a rock.

Under the waterfall, which I remember being somewhere you couldn't go, but that might just be The Lost Valley, then up here. Bit weird seeing the obvious ledges as distinctly man-made objects as opposed to erosion on man-made objects. There's a secret in one corner where I think there was a fuse last time. Regular path is just to the left.

Same deal as last time, three fuses, though colored now, and it drops something on the area with the pistol rather than it just falling. Whether this is because of realism or because they couldn't do something like that is an intriguing question, but for now I'll be satisfied with finding some fuses. Two obvious paths, and one of them is blocked off.

The second has what was once a joke enemy. Rats. The jokes write themselves, I don't even need to show anything other than a screenshot of it. Still, the red fuse is here. I wander around the area for a bit until I just put it in the machine and press the button next to it. So much for three puzzles you can do at your leisure, its just a series of them.

This leads to an upper path, first some walking then across some ledges. I like this area, while the game is still obvious with its usage of ledges, in an area like this, it blends in unless you know you have to go across it. The area with the second fuse also has the third, but I can't safely get it yet, so I have to do something with the crane. Turns out there's a crane puzzle now, which I figure out after getting the second artifact. The third one actually has a pretty good platforming puzzle to it, incorporating machinery. Perhaps that's what they should have made to begin with, a game where you platform through some weird machine. Now, to get the guns.

Lame. I can't really advance through the dead end, instead I have to break open into a control booth to adjust it so Lara can take a driller to the dead end.

Even for Larson, this sounds incredibly stupid.

Looks like Larson is in Lara's way, having put the crate in her path and taken the blue fuse. He says Lara isn't going to kill for it. Well, this is Legend continuity, where she gunned down easily a hundred people, so this feels about as worthwhile as Duke Nukem musing about the horrors of war. QTE fight, a joke, press up three times. Even for Larson that feels like a joke, come on. Lara grabs the fuse and then does an overdramatic, blood is on my hands, gesture. Talk about pretentious twaddle.

Afterwards, I move the crate away and pick up Larson's shotgun. The breaking of the wooden barriers is kind of underwhelming. Now, this, this is interesting. Its the same old sort of stringed together stuff over certain death, but its more than holding down grab and occasionally jumping. Or it would be if it didn't put a checkpoint halfway through it. Anyway, there are two secrets here, an artifact I thought would be tricky, but you basically just stumble onto, and ammo you can only get after you make it to the other side.

Wait, how do you get up here? Oh, I see, it took you all game, but you finally did the whole jumping off a ramp trick to advance. I spot one of Natla's henchman as I make my way up.

Cutscene. This guy talks about how good killing feels, while Lara gives a goofy look that I think is supposed to be regret. Are you seriously trying to turn this into a thing? Skater dude who no longer has a skateboard shows up, and the two attack. QTEs, I accidentally failed one taking a screenshot and it just restarted the QTE part. Lame. Not as lame as the cutscene itself. The goons spend as much time fighting each other as they do Lara, even killing each other. Anyway, the one dude drops uzis, no magnums yet.

This area is actually pretty cool too, because this time ledges aren't glowing neon signs. It actually feels like Tomb Raider for once. I can climb up anything I can reach. Sure, I can't reach much, but I can climb it. The objective here is for Lara to point stand on several points, make obvious by how they look different than the others, which slide into the ground/slide. I'm distracted by an artifact in one corner catches my eye. How do you get there?

Ah. I think I see why they didn't make more areas grab whatever you can reach, they can't do it very well. I'd make less fun if I thought they knew what they were doing. Anyway, reaching the artifact is entirely dependent on one point that slides into ground, once that's gone you reload or restore by some means. That's this level. I missed the relic. Oh, well.

The Great Pyramid. I joked about Stargate last time, but this does feel very Stargate influenced. Yellow instead of blue. Granted, I realize both take influence from the same concept, but this feels a bit more than that.

Eggs. Eh...this looks blander compared to the original. This is less the biomechanical horror that the original was and more Zerg-like creature infesting Ancient outpost. Gotta find that ZPM and then everything goes to hell. I walk through the room and nothing happened. This leads to the big lava shaft.

Yeah, this just isn't the same. The original didn't come off like this at all. I mean, with some areas you could say they intended any big black blocks at the top to be sky, but this is a big shift in design. Anyway, Natla activates the Scion and now Atlantians pop out of the eggs. Back, up a now opened door via a ladder, and to the shaft properly.

Shoot the target, which causes a ring for wall running to pop out, and a creature. Kill that, and you realize the ring is on a timer with just enough time to get past. Failing, you have to deal with the annoying cutscene activating it, as if you could miss what happens. This just comes off as annoying. I do it again the next level up, and then again...wait, is THAT THE ENTIRE LEVEL? Are you kidding me?

At some point, there are these ledges, which, after Lara is on them for a certain length of time, burn her, not hurting her, but knocking her off.

There's this section. Two flying Atlantians. You know, its funny, I could do something like that in a space like this in Tomb Raider, but here its a troublesome pain to deal with. Because the target that activates the rings and poles is a target in combat too. Then there's the section you have to cross, in the time limit on the target. Jump on a slope, unto a pole and then another pole. Switch the direction you're going, jump, shimmey across a ledge, across two rings and hope you have enough time to make the final ledge. Irrespective of my thoughts on the original Tomb Raider, this is just a poorly designed level in general. The only artifact in this level is in an obvious side area, another winged Atlantian spawns after you get out.

Checking Tombraiders.net afterwards, I discovered that no, I'm not alone in thinking this is some...bull excrement. Its apparently much easier on Playstation, which makes me think that the PC version is extraordinarily crap. I hope so, based on what I've seen some people's statements about this version are very perplexing based on what I've played.

Crushers. Merciful crushers. There are things you can shoot to cause them to stay open, but assuming you get the sequence down it really isn't necessary.

This leads to the doppelganger arena. First taking out three regular Atlantians, glad they remembered they showed up again. The doppelganger looks nice, at least. For a meat puppet. To kill her this time, you have to rotate a central wheel, makes me wish there was an actual puzzle that involved this idea rather than just whatever this is, climb up one end, pull a lever, turn the wheel again and jump into an area which tosses the doppelganger in lava. Then she makes a joke about it. Really, after the dramatics with Larson, you thought this was a good idea?

The bridge room. It wasn't exactly very interesting originally, and now its very lame. To the left, you just dodge things that push Lara into the lava. On the right you jump on the same things. Both switches on each end reveal a flying Atlantian, and introduces a mechanic I didn't see before, getting grabbed. Which you have to press the movement keys in rapid succession. If you just button mash, nothing happens. Somehow. The relic on this level is "hidden" by a rock you can shoot after crossing the bridge, I thought I missed something, but no, I didn't realize this would be that easy.

Cutscene. Lara reaches the top and the Scion. We see a giant...uh...ballsack. Lovely. Natla congratulates her, and does the usual badguy spiel about joining her. The Scion is very powerful. Immortality has its price, but what are a few lives? Lara looks at her hands dramatically, apologizes to her father and shoots the Scion. Natla charges after her, knocking them both off, Lara escapes and Natla falls into the lava.

I dunno about this plot "twist". Old Lara would do this, but less because she wouldn't like it and more because she does everything the hard way. New Lara doesn't seem like the type. The only reason why she hasn't killed four humans in addition to the dozens, possibly 100+ humanoids is because three of them did things that ensured she didn't actually have to kill them. Since this takes place in the Legend continuity, where she has zero problems with killings hundreds of people later on.

Instead, I think Lara would take it. If she's forgotten her guilt when she's mowing down Atlantians by the dozen, she isn't going to remember it now. In the ambiguous new world that Natla was creating, Lara would not be the morally ambiguous figure that a theoretical hero would try to sway, she'd be the one sentencing people to swift and painless deaths as opposed to public torture. From a story perspective, you haven't really shown enough reason for Lara to not do this and plenty that she will.

Out comes the giant Atlantian and its Final Conflict. What a lame name. The big Atlantian is weird. He functions like basically any other enemy with the usual shoot until enraged, dodge at the right time, knock down, but he doesn't take damage. Instead, what you're supposed to do is enrage him off the cliff, then enrage him inside it so you can shoot his hand off. Then enrage him off again and shoot his other hand. Off he goes into the lava.

Another hallway, this time there's lava. This leads into a nice and fancy room with a path up. Sadly the only path I can actually take is forward, after pulling a switch. More pointless fighting, and then a room with a pool in addition to a hidden way up to reach that path up in the last room. Pull an underwater lever, get an annoying cutscene and then climb up and back. Oh, wait, this is actually the path forward. An artifacts here on in the hidden way up.

Anyway, this reveals a crate, which I can use to get another artifact, and to go the actual way up. Slightly unclear advancement for once, and then I'm behind some rocks in the room with the pool and this does nothing. Maybe these weird reliefs on the wall are climbable? Oh, they're the sliding things. I feel like this game should have had the player have to use one of these before its suddenly relevant for a puzzle?

Now there are things that shoot flame. As per usual, that's not what I'm fighting against. This is actually pretty good. I didn't find it immediately obvious where I have to go. I note two things here, there's an artifact immediately below me, behind a lavafall. Can't get through there, and if I try to go around the lavafall, Lara doesn't her falling into lava animation while in mid-air. There's another artifact on the other side, which is much easier to reach.

Boss fight, Natla. She talks about the blood on Lara's hands and how Lara's heart is as black as hers. Yeah, sounds about right. Natla is actually interesting, which is just a complete shock as far as boss fights in this game go. She has multiple attacks and moves around in ways that aren't just chasing after Lara. Its not that difficult, like always. She has multiple targets, I go after the wings, no idea if it matters.

About halfway through her health bar another cutscene happens. Sooner or later Lara's going to run out of bullets. Damn, someone at Crystal Dynamics is really happy they came up with that one. The second phase here is...not so interesting. Get Natla to rage at you, then shoot her in the back. Unfortunately, her attack does not allow you to do the usual dodge roll easily, and any other method won't work. At this point I struggle to figure out what to do until I restart the fight and discover that Natla stays down afterwards for as long as you fire on her, you only hurt her if its in the back. Lame.

As per usual, it ends with some QTEs. Natla says she'll never die, so Lara knocks her out with a pillar. I don't really remember Underworld, beyond some stuff relating to Norse mythology and Lara's mansion getting destroyed, but something tells me Natla is back. She survives a nuke and some dinky pillar kills her. Uh-huh.
Lara rides off into the sunset, doing her blood is on my hands gesture again, making me question why I stuck out for this.


Final Time: 18 hours 30 minutes