Arctic Adventure (1991)

Is that the shadow of a soyjak?

Name:Arctic Adventure
Number:224
Year:1991
Publisher:Apogee
Developer:Apogee
Genre:Side-Scroller
Difficulty:4/5
Time:6 hours 20 minutes
Won:Yes (95W/70L)

It's time to continue the adventures of Indiana Jones's sucker of an assistant...I mean Nevada Smith...or was it Arizona? (This name is so unimportant that it isn't mentioned in the opening text) Checking the instructions and story, there's not much change, except we're taking the treasure of some Vikings, which logically should be the treasure they stole from the British Isles, France and Germany. Oh, and now I have unlimited lives. That feels like an acknowledgement that they didn't really matter last time.

As this is a sequel to Pharaoh's Tomb, if you missed it, you should read about it first. The gist for the lazy is I'm here to play a single screen platformer and have fun, and I'm all out of fun.

There are four episodes, and the first one, like usual, was shareware. This is what draws people in. There's an overmap screen this time where you enter each level. I remember something like this in Secret Agent and Crystal Caves. In those though, they allowed you to pick a level in any order in a way that felt neat. This though, this works differently to the main game. I assumed that upon playing this that it wasn't what I was looking for the first time. Because this feels like an overhead "avoid the enemy" style of game rather than what it is. I doubt I would have missed anything, but still I'll play it. Even if I know it's going to be one of those weeks. Time to fire up some Type O Negative and game. Huzzah.

Huzzah.

Oh, huzzah.

Okay, one more new thing, ice picks and ice blocks, basically the same format as the doors and keys from last time. On this stage it's especially annoying since you're expected to do a risky jump on the left to get a pickaxe. It's somehow uglier, dithering doesn't work when you have four very incompatable colors. At least the dart guns are easy to spot this game.

Returning to the overmap, I have a key. I guess this is the objective, find keys and items to advance.

Another new thing are these spikes that shoot out of ceilings and floors. Not that new, but I don't remember them. The tablets have been changed with buttons. It's not that much trouble.

Which direction you go in with the ice blocks seems to be an indicator of which direction they throw you in.

Oh, it has become trouble. So much trouble. Ice blocks, trouble in a game with good controls and collision. This isn't that game. But worse still, while that's manageable, some of the blocks function like conveyor belts, and these sometimes prevent you from jumping in the direction they're going against. Oh, and some ice blocks can be destroyed with your head, and traps that are actually invisible until you hit a tile that triggers them.

There are bonus stages now. I don't mind them, but what this style of game was missing wasn't more points items. Mind you, what this game didn't need was for every level to be an ice stage and the sort of design that makes you go over the whole length of it. These levels aren't just frustrating, they're tedious. Not hard, not challenging. Just tasks you sometimes fail for what feels like no reason of your own.

And that's when it isn't just asking you to do the impossible. Look at where the key is; There's no secret I haven't shown you that places a block under it, you have to jump down from there. It's not technically impossible, but it's asking you to do the absolute limit of what you can do in this engine. Later, I found out that you don't need every key, which strikes me as a cruel trick on the uninformed.

I get the one navigation item this first episode has about halfway through. A boat, which allows me to cross the suspiciously lava-looking liquid, but when you have white, pink and cyan, your options are limited. This is the level I get. Like last time, poles don't kill you, but you also don't get a full block of space between a half block and a pole, so you can only jump up or down while above the pole.

After 19 levels I get a message telling me that the last level, which was blocked off from me being able to walk into it, is open. It looks different, but in practice it isn't. Instead of one long crawl across the screen, it's going over little halls that effectively mean the same thing.

This gets me a piece of an ancient map. Huh, are there five episodes, or are we just going to get the map? (There are only 4, so the latter) I don't know if I can stomach that many. We get an outro text saying that we think we're being watched. That's nice. This sounds like something that will only happen in the text crawl and we'll never see it in gameplay. Seriously, the actual combat in this game is basically just not landing on an enemy and shooting them, I've had more than enough ammo for everyone.

Episode 2, which I would never be bored enough usually to ever play, continues the theme that developed on the last level of Episode 1. Is there a word for art that's both more technically accomplished but actually worse? The game's back to pulling gotchas on me. Those invisible traps are starting to be used in ways you have no way of foreseeing.

There's this one. Look at the pickaxes. Go down, then back up. Only oops, a block appeared beneath the middle pickaxe and the only way to get it is to jump under it. The game is now weaponizing carefulness. It's still not really hard, just busywork. Which is the problem with this game and its predecessor. The levels would be a fun challenge in a more well-crafted game, but with this engine everything feels frustrating and tedious.

Like this one, I like the idea of it. Spikes pop out of the lower level, and then the middle has boulders pop in. But you're relying on precision in action and timing in a game that doesn't offer that. I keep harping because, well, it's the most overwhelming thing about the game.

And then there's this one which is just awful. Move too far with the block on the bottom and you've just made the level unwinnable. You can only destroy those solid cyan blocks by jumping from below, so in a lot of places those are just blocks. So you have to go around the level not once, but effectively three times in order to get out. That gun on the bottom makes the whole thing much worse, you know, because you have to do things carefully lest you block yourself in. The amount of times I barely made it past the first floor without screwing myself over to die because of a failed jump is too many.

Speaking of tedium, here's a level where you're just supposed to let all these falling blocks fall, in order, slowly. I suppose I could see if I have enough time to rush past them all, but those middle ones didn't look that way.

This level is really annoying because you have one bit of trouble at the start. Dart gun shooting at you while you walk on the moving blocks. In case you forgot, moving between them is tricky, so you're moving between four while not getting shot. I'll give some credit, its memorable, considering that we're already hitting levels which seem mundane compared to the rest and ones that reuse old tricks. Oh, make no mistake, there's a gun in the middle floor, but that's small potatoes.

I keep forgetting, but sometimes levels require you to end by going in a pipe. I don't even understand why this is being done outside of it being a Mario reference. It makes zero sense in context. This level in particular is intriguing, since you have to jump on the slowly falling platforms to create a space to get up from below. You can't advance otherwise.

This level full of moving platforms is deceptively difficult. In a normal game this would either be difficult because blocks knock you off, or easy because they move away. Here, they're supposed to move away, but if you aren't moving on a block, they knock you off. If you miscalculate your jump, well, it's a long way down.

The final level is much like last time, complete the others, get a text pop up, then enter the newly revealed room. Outside of having to thread the needle in the upper left, it's perfectly fine. I mean as a normal level. If the game was compromised of these it'd be fine. A bit easy, but a series of challenges as opposed to what feels like constant busywork. We get another end text much like the one from the last episode. Onto Episode 3!

Hey, what gives, this level actually seems like a decent introduction! It's like a level that introduces each element individually so you can get used to it. Almost like something that should have been in Episode 1. Nah...

In general this episode feels a lot more merciful, but not completely untouched by the game's cruelty. You'll get a mostly mundane level, then a few hidden boulder traps or something. Or a brutal start, but then mostly calm afterwards. It's always been this informal trilogy of Apogee that does this, hard start, and then by the end of it its easy. None of Apogee's other games, to my memory, do this. I think the closest of those I've played the full version of was Mystic Towers, but that was an intentional drop in some parts difficulty while raising other parts of the difficulty. (We'll see about Duke Nukem though)

Episode 3 ends much like the others, with level hidden until you get the other level. One that is a rather underwhelming level. In this case moreso, because there was an unnecessary pickaxe in an earlier level, meaning I didn't need to fight the two enemies in the upper right. Even the dart gun is pointless, you're only ever in its line of fire once, and that's when you're jumping towards the map piece. The ending text continues the same storyline, I guess the figure is probably Dr. Jones. Oh, and my guy is Nevada.

Episode 4, and the first level I reach is this. I'm pretty sure I already beat this exact level before. Why am I not surprised that this game is running out of steam? It all feels like stuff I've already done and didn't really enjoy before. It doesn't even really feel like a Lemmings kind of design where they made versions of various levels, some harder and some easier, its just the same challenge done slightly differently.

I guess it's not entirely true, but man, these levels aren't helping how fatigued I feel about this game. Even at this point if I can figure out what a level is at a glance, it's just going to be the same old, same old, even if its new. Its not like Tomb Raider where figuring out where you have to go, then doing it is a fun experience. You're just hoping that this time, you'll get lucky enough to get it right.

Nothing encapsulates this experience more than this level. Grab the pickaxes, then get out. Just a couple of dartguns and some spikes, no problem, right? Firstly, these platforms are noticeably slow, which is a problem when you have to go up and down to get a pickaxe. Secondly, the jump to the final pickaxe is the most precise in the entire game. You have a very small margin of error to getting past it, and you have to be going up while that one is going down.

I'm grateful it's over.

Episode 4 ends more or less like the other three episodes, earthquake reveals secret cave, this is the final level with the map piece. Oh, and a statement which in context feels like mocking, even if Georgie intended this to be...uh...a genuine question.

The ending text has Nevada in a death trap room, having carelessly tripped a switch that locks the room. Trapped in the dark for half a hour, the walls suddenly start rumbling close, but then Dr. Jones appears, opening the way out. Laughs are had by all, then Nevada asks if Dr. Jones has ever heard of the lost diamond mines of Africa. Which would have presumably been Nevada's next adventure, assuming someone didn't wisely put this series on ice like it deserved.

Oh, yeah, the shooting part. Nearly pointless. Half the time you can just jump over enemies, the other half you have 10 bullets. Sometimes I use the bullets just to make my life easier. The less I have to jump over enemies the better. There is rarely any reason not to shoot something.

Weapons:
Your typical basic gun. One shot on-screen. 1/10

Enemies:
Basically non-entities that go back and forth, with various traps functioning as the real trouble. 1/10

Non-Enemies:
None.

Levels:
Incredibly tedious and frustrating, with only a few redeeming levels in Episode 3. 1/10

Player Agency:
Incredibly fiddly. The jump button doesn't work half the time. You have to quit to the map and then reenter if you reach a point where you can't die to reset the level. I guess the actual left and right movement is responsive, and you have good air control. But that feels like reaching for a compliment. 2/10

Interactivity:
You can occasionally jump into the ceiling to get a bonus...which isn't really that interactive. 0/10

Atmosphere:
This game was supposed to be about Vikings, northern Europe, that sort of thing. What I got is penguins. Penguins are on the opposite side of the planet. 0/10

Graphics:
Well, if ever you needed an example to prove that more detail in art is not necessarily better, here's your counter. Every time is details, but because of the crappy color palette, it looks awful. Animation is nice, but when everything else looks awful, does it really matter? 1/10

Story:
Purely there to pump up the running time slightly. Outside of the first episode's start and the last's end, the beginning and end of each episode is basically the same. 0/10

Sound/Music:
Basic PC Speaker beeps, not objectionable, but not interesting. 1/10

That's 7. It's been a while since I gave a game under 10 points. But then, its been a while since I truly hated a game here.

I'm very hard on this, but for good reason. George Broussard was attached to most of my favorite Apogee titles over the next two years. Possibly even some of my favorite side-scrollers of all time. So I know what he can contribute to. And while many sequels are weaker than their predecessors, usually the predecessor has something redeeming about it. This is noticeably worse in all respects, and Pharaoh's Tomb was only ever good for the time and place.

It isn't like I find this concept awful, I liked Monuments of Mars, which was about as cruel. I might even go as far as to say Jetpack would make my top 100 games. But in those, failure feels more like your own fault than the game's. Here it still ultimately is the player's. You have decent control of Smith, you just have a horrendous hitbox and the game seems like it just isn't aware of that.

Next week, I hope to have something new on Rejection, failing that, we'll see something from 1984.