Alone in the Dark: The Basement

Starting this up again, I had some apprehension at going into the basement. I don't really want to do that until every other option is exhausted. Well, at the end I forgot I had found another key. Which will no doubt delay my descend into the cellar by anywhere from 5 second to a full minute. The only untouched door was the locked door in the cigar lounge. Let's check it out.

Ah, what is this? Something with a sword in the corner? Will I have to go back to get the statue? No, its just something on the wall. Mercy, for once. It has a mechanism, and using it again does nothing. Aha! This is where I put the broken saber! Imagine how terrible this would have been if I hadn't kept every single item like a kleptomaniac!

Gee, this is what we call railroading. I still have a little unfinished business up here. There's another record in this room and it might even be the one I need. Another book too. Is this the Necronomicon?

Nope, but it is the story about a yankee officer dealing with a mysterious slave owner in this place. It explains why the cigars damaged me earlier, apparently some strange magic. The slaves also come off as zombies in this, the old-fashioned voodoo kind. Very interesting. Back in the dance hall, I first check my book in order to see which of these weapons will be useless to me now.

Yes, yes, you stereotypical ghosts. I feel like this puzzle is unnecessarily complex despite essentially very easy. I get a key, its weird-looking. Very thick. Now there's no more excuse for not going in the basement. First we'll go in the normal basement. This is probably how it was intended, seeing as I've had the key for about half the game. Fortunately, I have a full revolver, rifle and two arrows for the bow, plus 27 hit points. I've held onto the sword and the magic dagger, in case another vagabond comes by.

Rats? No, not fighting rats. An ambient track kicks in, mostly with dripping water. At least the rats don't seem to be enemies. Nothing much in the front half of this room, nothing in the wine racks or the crates. Some bullets on the counter, which I can load into my revolver for it to hold 12 bullets. I don't think they anticipated someone being so miserly with their ammo.

A scream...and eventually a rat shows up. He nibbles on me a bit and I start brutalizing the fella. Blood spilling out, flipping him around. This goes on for a minute. I check my book, no mention. Doesn't even mention this area until the end game. I look up a walkthrough online, and find out that this rat is invincible. Here's an idea, show that. Chopping up a rat with a sword that weighs as much as it does, of course I can flip that. Blood makes me think I'm doing damage. This is some proper garbage. Fine reload, rush through the damn thing. Get bullets, find a book take a wedge that moves some barrels. Yes, I saw those two parts. I don't care. This will be reflected in the overall rating.

The book? The Trial of Captain Pregzt...which is the name of the demonic entity in this game...so the entire game has been about a cosmic horror pirate. Also, Elie Hell? Say that out loud. You screwed me, Alone in the Dark. I liked you, I really liked you. His ship, Astarte, found by a H. Hartwood. Pregzt says he will never die. Naturally the comrades in favor of his death die. The rest get their fair share of the booty. Elie Hell gets his ship, but not before being told by a dark man to forget about what Pregzt said about getting treasures better than gold. It is spooky, but this is still a wide turn I don't like. This also really puts the quality issues with AitD 2 in perspective, that game is supposed terrible for having lots of glitches and pirates, yet here we are, defeating a pirate turned god in Louisana.
Now, the true basement. The last section of the game.

I like the stepping sound effects. Different sounds for stepping on the cavern floor than on wood.

Well, I hope I didn't leave anything important behind. Good thing I have a save beforehand. And a little delay, admiring the scenery before carrying on. Sound effects for the cavern floor are damped by this strange looking substance being the same as stone. I guess that's possible, but it still sounds strange.

I thought worms made the dirt softer? I mean...AAAAAAAH! The worm is presumably invincible, but that's of little consequence as you can run faster than him. An obviously blocked off passage next to an open passage at the end of this tunnel makes me suspect this is a puzzle.

Another one of the "dog" monsters. With the added range of the sword, he's no real problem. Its my own fault I get hit. The worm zooms by as we fight, taking out the blocked passage.
Okay, run back, then after he's back at the start, go through the newly opened passage. Reasonable enough.

One hit kill. I am not even upset at this. After a reloaded save I do that...and discover he doesn't follow me. So I go back to where he spawned, which leads to the regular cellar. So I then finally just go through the tunnel he chewed through and find myself...

In front of some water. Do I just jump down? This isn't Tomb Raider we're talking about. Despite flippy McPirate earlier, the rules of this game have been fairly realistic. Yep, Tomb Raider now, no damage too. Nice falling animation. Combat music starts, then quickly ends. Something is here. Well, I have a gun and more ammo than I know what to do with. Let's use some of it.

Oh, watching this guy flail at me is just...adorable. That's not something you want to hear about your horror video game. Emily flails just as much trying to shoot him. Apparently its really hard to aim your gun down a few ticks. Sword again. Honestly, this fight is really pathetic. Water lizard here seems to think he has a lot more reach than he actually has, which resulted in the two of us flailing around wildly for a little bit. I feel bad for killing him, you know, if he wasn't a pirate's pet.

What, another one? Nevermind I don't feel bad for killing the last one. That bridge you see here will collapse if you walk on it, and Raynal felt it was important enough to make falling into water with a lamp and bullets realistic. I reloaded, of course, because if I saved it until now, I'm going to use it on something. At some point I obtained the ability to jump. I don't think I had it before at least. Let's see that in action.

Oh, wow, that's really bad. Huh, the only way out jump up. Do I have to do that or is it automatic?

I'm surprised Emily never put Lara Croft out of business. That is some wonderful climbing. Oh, and standing in the air after climbing, even better! She'll even do it at an awkward angle that doesn't make any sense unless she's literally climbing the 2D background as it appears, not something that makes any sense in an imitation of 3D space. Okay, enough mocking.

The music changes and a big spider monster appears. I guess this is the cute baby spiders mama. Two shots with the pump-action rifle. Make your own joke here. The spider's model looks really questionable and appears to have a...uh...something in the back. The passage further down shows something flying in the distance. Glad I still have an almost full rifle.

Oh, wow, a jumping puzzle in a game like this. Why would you do this? I have some experience with platforming in these kinds of games. If I make it to 1997 in 3rd person shooters, you'll understand my distaste for this. With enemies...go...od thing I have a gun. Only takes me two tries. Another water lizard in the water. Not that I'd ever fight it. What awful creature is next?

Don't tell me there's another worm.
There's not, at least, I didn't find one. There is a spider, but it didn't look like I needed to fight it, so I didn't. Couldn't hit him with a gun, and I didn't feel like cutting up another enemy.

Oh, good, monsters out of reach of my guns. Pirate swords everywhere. Is this game going to end on some stupid "you got the pirate treasure" bull? Because of the way perspective is set up, I didn't know he was circling a higher area. Takes a few more shots than I'd like, but I get him.

Also, guys, when you're perched atop a high area where a fall will damage you and ruin all your items, you should maybe pick a better camera angle.

A chest. Well, I know what unlocks it. I hope. It has a gem and a book. I knew it.

Pregzt's maniac ramblings in book form. Apparently the good yankee captain from the civil war did the world a favor, resulting in Pregzt's voice actor saying "Damned Yankees!" The slave owner in the earlier story? Pregzt. The game throws a kitchen sink of occult at us: "Witchcraft, voodoo and the Cthulhu cult". Yadda, yadda, yadda, the Hartwoods may have escaped, but you will die. I have implored the stones. Only the Chtonian resists me, must be the worm. He hears and smells you. He defeated death, built Derceto, Cthulhu helps him, he roars and rends the night.
It also explains the death screen, the player is cast upon some stone. Pregzt needs your body to regenerate. He needs Emily's body to regenerate. Yeah, that could cause some awkward fan art and creepy statements by some people. This doesn't cause anything to move, no, you have to move the rock out yourself. Finally, before I advance, the read book has the name "A Pirate's Log book". Yeah, I buy that.

A few screens of walking around, before I come to a locked passageway. The gem, being the only item I can think of that would do something, does nothing. I'm guessing I need something else.

A maze. In the dark. Today's French word is rembourrage. It means padding. Actual padding. If you want to know how to pronounce it, I don't know. This is about making fun of the French, not learning French. There's nothing wrong with putting a maze in your game, or even putting a lot of mazes in your game. Anyone who thinks otherwise either has navigational issues* or plays too many mind-numbing pieces of crap. In the former case, please feel free to continue to use maps regardless of who insults.
I mean, the maze isn't that hard even with the handicap. For some reason the lamp doesn't drain during this time. Which leaves the question, why? Why? Why?

Okay, this is a spooky shot. Nothing scary shows up, although jumping across the water is mildly terrifying. Navigation in this room is a pain.

Uh...what? Is this the point where I'm supposed to throw the lantern?

Check out that throw. The last time I saw someone get a throw like that it was also in a video game, but with a knife. It hits the wall and falls in the water. So I reload and try again. Several times. Apparently the puzzle is something else. This looks like the place at the game over screen, so it must be Pregzt. Pregzt the tree. Maybe I'm supposed to run closer. Naturally there are monsters in the water. And Pregzt throws fireballs at the player. Emily sure will be a good vessel when she's cooked crispier than fried chicken.

So, I run, throw the lamp, take a hook and run away. I haven't hit anything but a wall with the lamp, but you can exit this room just the same. Won't do you any good, but you can do it. I did not get a shot of it, but aiming the lamp wrong will cause it to bounce off as if both the lamp and the tree are rubber. I check my book and yes, I'm doing it right. So I check an online walkthrough. I'm supposed to use the talisman on the altar.

Nice work here, that's just some amazing 2D work. You put the talisman down and then throw a lantern at it. Then you run. Someone says "Get Out of Here", who is saying that? Why would Pregzt tell you that? He's the only one who has the ability to say that to you. Are you saying that to yourself? Why?
Anyway, the walk out involves using the hook you find on the altar on a couple of stone doors, then going out the way you came.

Eventually, I make it out the door. Triumphant music plays. Birds are singing, the dawn is breaking. Emily hitchhikes on a car that looks suspiciously like the one she had and...

...There weren't any sequels at all. After skeleton face drives off with Emily, the screen just hangs on a shot while saying "The End". Well, that was an adventure. That's that, the end of the first Alone in the Dark game. I can't say I'm that disappointed, but I wasn't completely blown away.

Alone in the Dark: Happy House

I've got a lot of problems going on here, and not a lot of answers to those problems. Maybe I missed something on the 1st floor. I get rid of some items I figure I won't need, climb up the stairs and...

Wait...I came down to the ground floor from the left side...How did...? What the...? Are you telling me that one of the exits back to the 1st floor was not coded in properly? Because I didn't go past this guy the first time. I go back and check, yep, this leads here. So, there are two stairs, one on each side, with one blocked off by a suit of armor who can't yet be killed. You have have the return transition only go to that one. Why would you do that?
Although the armor is in fact, not completely blocking off the area, this is still terrible. This gives me access to the door I thought I was going into last time, but instead went into the one on the opposite side. Isn't that a mouthful.

This opens up a corridor with four doors. Four! This gives me plenty of choices in how I want to die horribly. That gives me ten options of dying horribly! Amazing. Good job. Even better job on that camera angle. You can't even see the first door from the entrance. Let's check behind door no. 1.

A bedroom. Let's just close the door, I just know something horrible will happen if I don't. Something on the mantle, but I should check the rest of the room first.

I know what's going to happen if I open this, but I must. I hear something that sounds like a frog crossed with a car. That frog from the intro cutscene ate the car, didn't he? If that does happen it'd be really stupid. Nothing happens if I interact with the window, the closet, the bed. I get the item on the mantel, a notebook, and...

If this was supposed to be a jumpscare, it failed, all I said was a curse. I'm crap at the melee combat, but I take him down. I try to use the soup I got from the kitchen, but it turns out that it contains human flesh. Leaving the biscuits as my only health item, and now they're gone.

The item I fought for? A notebook. Uncle Jeremy goes nuts. A poor explanation for the pirate too. Its rather effective as horror. Nothing of any actual help at this point, beyond a mention of a circle the dark man can't enter. And that the cosmic horror is in the basement. Or was in the basement. I didn't really need the notebook to tell me that, even if I hadn't cheated by looking at a map. It also describes a dark man Uncle Jeremy met who is obviously an agent of the cosmic horror.

Door no. 2. Would you look at that. A demon in the bathtub. I take a quick search through the cabinet and swiftly make my leave. A first aid kit.

Door no. 3. Its dark, and apparently you can't light a lamp inside a dark room. Inside are a book and a statue. I take them and get out. Hopefully that lamp won't burn inside my inventory. Gee, I wonder what will happen if I read this book. Suspicious shade on the wall where a painting likely once was.

Spooky. Not. I feel cheated. Its just some story about a guy coming to a hamlet in New England to see astral phenomena. Now, what's behind door no. 4?

Uh...this can't possibly end badly?

So...this provided me with absolutely no advantage whatsoever. I try again, no dice, the axeman is throwing homing axes. I figure I should recheck the rooms I've been to. Dark bedroom, no dice. Bathroom, a jug. Why? Its times like these I miss the examination system from classic adventures. Sure, you have the standard sarcastic "Its a door", but generic dialog for generic items is a small price to pay for being able to understand what this statue thing is I'm carrying around.

Back to the ghost room, hoping I have enough spare space to move this gramophone to safer places. I do. I sneak across, getting a poker and another matchbox. Can I take out the pirate with this? Its not even a weapon. And now I'm standing in the hallway, staring at that suit of armor, waiting for inspiration to strike me. Well, better try everything in desperation. First target, suit of armor.
I didn't get a picture of it, but the suit of armor is felled by throwing the statue at it. This makes sense in retrospect, but the player has no reason to try this. Especially when the statue has the range of almost nothing. I'm going to wager I probably won't need the statue again, so I'm going to leave it here for now. Sword, now who do I know that fights with a sword?

At first I thought this was a bust, but no, I just had to wait until he was close enough. He blocks, he dodges, but within a certain distance he's defenseless. He was only mortal after all. He had a key. To what, I don't know. One again I am stymied by items that aren't actually interactive. A bucket of paint that looks useful but is not. But I do find a book. I wonder what's...

Hey, an actual grimiore in this game about someone losing their sanity to a grimiore. It describes the use of a reverse sign against the evil eye as a protection from the OUTER BEINGS.
Having obtained all the information I need from this book I check the door the pirate was guarding. Its locked. Does the key I have work? Yes. Wait, it'd be possible to run past him if it wasn't locked? Lame.

This isn't my first ghost event, but wait, I can't get the item without touching the ghosts. Okay, what else is in this room? A record? I don't know if its technologically accurate, but I'm guessing the gramophone and the record go together to cause the dancers to dance. But it won't go on the table. Am I supposed to put this down and put a record on it? No, I'm supposed to use the record.

You're dead! Why are you so picky? This leaves me with more questions I can't answer. I'd better solve something somewhere else. I have a jug, there's a barrel full of water, and there's that smoke thing in the one room. Maybe...?

Cigars? What is this, an anti-smoking game? Okay, now what's in here? A record? Jackpot, maybe this will solve the problem of the picky dead ghosts. A book too. Interesting.

Is everyone named Alistair? Another book about someone going to a town in New England to observe astral phenomena. Every book so far seems to mention it. Another book about the author dying because of it. I'd complain about the bluntness of the message, but I did miss it the first couple of times. Chances are I'm missing some important information inside the books as well. There's another locked door in this room that I don't have the key for. The record? Not good enough for the tastes of the ghosts. That leaves me the option of basement and axe thrower hall. Maybe I'm supposed to burn the painting? No.

Instead I use the Indian cover I got from the attic. Well, that makes sense. This grants me peace. At least until I reach a painting of an Indian at the other side of the hallway shooting arrows at me. Okay, access to the room locked from the staircase side.

Its dark. I have to use the lantern, preventing me from doing anything else. Its a library. I can't activate the light in the middle. Another ghost pops up. There's no way further out and no light switches. There's nothing on the ground and nothing I can see. And I can't go further down the hallway, as the painting of an Indian will shoot me down if I do. There's a door on the opposite side of where I came in. That leads back to the stairs up to the second floor. At least I have that door unlocked now. Fat lot of good that does me. What if I try shooting the painting with the bow and arrows?

Success! Just trust me on that one. You can see the puffs of smoke in the distance. Now, what's behind this door?

Another book. A fake book. Seemingly the room is empty, but this clock is suspicious. I try to search it, and then figure I should push it. Score, a key and a parchment behind it.

The parchment offers some spooky content, and some hints against enemies. Maybe this fake book will work against the thing in the library? No, of course not. I check my book and discover I'm supposed to put down the lamp. Okay, that works. From the first time I went in, I saw a bookcase that looked different from the others. Presumably, I'm supposed to open it using the fake book. I check it and find a hidden mechanism. Put book and voila, a secret room.

What's this glowy thing that's creating noise? A Talisman, I'll take that....why is everything groaning now? Jesus, there's a lot of stuff in this chest in here. Two books, two parchments and three more knives. This has got to be another puzzle.

I can't help but feel this statement screams "trying to hard". I'm seen quite a few dime-a-dozen Lovecraft rip-offs that this feels cheaper somehow. The gist of this paper is that you have to pick a particular dagger to get rid of the Vagabond or the strange thing wandering around. It describes a ritual, I thankfully don't have to do in order to use it. The other parchment tells me what I already figured, don't go screwing around with books unless you're in the safe spot*. So, what about the books?

Book 1 is another statement on don't screw around with books or you'll go mad. Especially De Vermis Mysteriis.

Huh, De Vermis Mysteriis. I wonder what'll happen if I read this...

How could I have possibly foreseen this?
Interestingly, in one of the books it mentions that the monsters disappearing in a puff of smoke isn't them dying, its them returning to their home dimension. Slick move, I approve.
Uncaptured, but the Vagabond falls like tissue paper. That's pretty sweet. At this point I realize I've been in almost every room I can possibly go into above the cellar...except for the key in the dance hall and the locked room next to the cigar lounge. I would wager these two are related and I am about to do the one thing I should never, ever do. Go in the basement. Nuts.

*Or have a save game handy.