Tuesday, July 21, 2020


It is hard to think, twenty-seven years, but effectively centuries later, that Myst was as big as it was. It is often joked upon that gaming journalists have no memory, after all, they are the ones to made the claim that violence is the only answer in video games. But they are not interested in looking too deeply at things, and what is the surface of this hobby? People shooting at each other. People crushing each other. People punching each other. Nuclear warfare, magic, globs of poo flung. A game where violence is not only discouraged, but not allowed? Ha.
I leave others to discuss Myst itself. It is like a summer home to me. We can watch the stars in here, over there is where we can watch the waves. We got to close the door first, just touch the painting. And don't worry about those scorch marks, they've been there a while. Over here is the forest, one of the trees is an elevator. I should get a carpenter to install a staircase next to that elevator, I always think I'm gonna get trapped down there.
Mylk, as you can tell by my talking of Myst, is a parody of it. Unlike Pyst, it has neither money nor stupid '90s humor behind it. If you want to know about that, I'd suggest watching Brutalmoose's video on the subject. You can find it on the winds of the internet, but its not worth your time to actually "play". Its not really much of a game, more like a Power Point presentation of how crap the authors were at Myst.
In contrast, Mylk is actually a parody of Myst. By the name, you can tell its going the "everything is dairy" route. Books are instead cartons of milk, ages revolve around cheese. The cast of characters are farm inhabitants. Cows replace Atrus and Catherine, and a chicken and a farmer replace the brothers. The humor manages to be moderately amusing. The Atrus-figure, whenever he brings one of the brother-figures into an age, constantly suspects them of wrong-doing. The farmer is more interested in one age's liberal banking policy, I kid you not. The chicken's so much of an obvious villain that the only thing you ever read about him is him being nuts. Its not a great story, but its amusing for the amount of time the game took to finish.
Now, graphically, this game is quite...uh...shall we say, very bad. I haven't seen much worse than this. Ironically enough, because of the author's use of noise in the artwork, it looks much worse than if he just did flat colors with edges. I'm not sure what two of the ages are supposed to be parodies of. The cheese island could be anything, and the solid blue one is...something. I don't know what. The tree age is the tool age here. I'm not sure I get the joke there.
In terms of gameplay...its okay. Puzzles are less Myst and more...eh...eh...eh...Because of the game's design, sometimes things you activate don't feel like activations at all, and its mostly easy to cheese through things when you figure out what to click on to activate it. Why do these things work this way? Who knows. Its not very fun to actually play, but its over so quickly it doesn't matter. And true to Myst form, once you get the final code, you can finish the game quickly. Here its like a minute.
Would I suggest it? Do you have a Win 3.1 DOS installation lying around and twenty minutes to play a crappy Myst parody? Its above Pyst, but that's like saying...its better than Pyst. Pyst isn't even a game. This is a game, and one that amused me despite its failings.

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