Elvira II - The Jaws of Cerberus - Introduction

It's kind of strange finally getting to this, a year after finishing the original. Elvira I was something I played very slowly, very deliberately, over the course of years, and that's something unique to it. Something I can't afford to give a game like this anymore. Unlike the original, I'm going to have to do a lot more looking things up. Simply because I like to keep a weekly schedule and that's not going to work if I let every thought stew.

The story is, after the events of the first Elvira game, the player and Elvira are now an item of some sort, and now own a horror movie studio in Hollywood. Because what you want to do after discovering magic is real and it nearly killed you a thousand times over is to make horror movies. Maybe it's just me, but I think if I nearly escaped getting killed by a battalion of ghost knights, I'd be cautious about making movies involving anything horrific. Maybe some musical comedies.

Like clockwork, strange things are going on at Black Widow Studios. On House of Horror, a stage hand got stuck in a revolving bookcase; On Kiss of the Spider, she says the spiders look so real that they should be issuing cans of Raid; On It Came From Beyond The Grave, a catering truck knocked over some tombstones and found an old catacomb. On top of it, she's lost her necklace in my car and there's a stray dog that looks like Leatherface wandering around. Little shock that this dog seems to have turned the place all upside down.

I started off with both the Amiga and DOS version, which both started off with immersion breaking soundtracks. The Amiga's like to some platformer, not...this. Since the Amiga version looks better, I'll be playing that one. I noticed, looking at the credits, that the musicians aren't the same as the ones for Elvira I, but hopefully it won't be this more electronic action game type stuff as I get further in.

The intro shows the company logos, then a scan of the box, and I'm at the front gates of Black Widow Studios, Elvira's in-game movie company. There's a selection of four classes, stuntman, private eye, programmer and knife thrower. I pick private eye, since that seems most fitting to the guy who plays shooters and adventure games. According to the manual, it's the balanced option, which, considering that the different between my balanced stats and the max you can start with is 1-2, may just be the best option period.

Stats are, Weapons Skill, ability to use equipment; Accuracy, self-explanatory; Will Power, some sort of way to avoid getting scared (Will this matter? I'd be pleasantly surprised); Magic Resist, resistance to supernatural charms, or possibly what it says; Strength, Constitution, Poison Resist and Intelligence, self-explanatory. Constitution makes up my health, while Intelligence makes up my power points, or spell points. Levels and experience are self-explanatory for anyone who's played a RPG before. Which I sincerely hope anyone picking up this game has.

The GUI is, counter-clockwise from the game screen, various health indicators, limb damage is important, current spell, radar, inventory, movement buttons for those who think the keyboard beneath them, save/load, adventure action buttons, and the important buttons. For lack of a better term. Right now, it's just combat stance and character inventory/room inventory. For combat stance, I'm picking standard, because I don't know what I'm doing yet.

Click anywhere and Elvira pops up. The first couple times it actually made me jump a little, simply because I wasn't expecting it. She tells me what I already figured out, I need to go and save her from the...humanoid dog creature that's after her? Whatever, it doesn't matter what it is, what matters is that I'm going to have to kill it. She gives me her spellbook, which is added to my starting inventory.

The opening area is surprisingly large and surprisingly empty. It's the entrance to the film studio and there's nothing except a door I can't open, because I don't have the key. The answer is to find a rock on one screen you probably won't notice until Elvira contacts you and tells you to find a rock. By calling you one. I get the feeling that there are some serious downsides to this relationship in-universe.

 

Inside the office, there's a jacket and cap I can wear, if I wanted to. Not sure it does anything. The stuff on the wall looks important, but beyond a nice drawing of a girlie calendar, it's just red herrings. Behind the desk is a computer, a filing cabinet and a breaker, all useless. The real task here is to open the door, and when the guy falls out, take the key off him. Keep that in mind for later. The key is used on a nearby numberpad, which requires a code from the codewheel. SCUMMVM makes it so you can use any code, apparently. 

Past the gate is the parking lot, which is completely empty save for Elvira's car. In the trunk is a set of pliers and a wrench. Both very convenient tools. I wonder how the game is going to think up a puzzle solution with those in my hands? Further on is the office. There's not a lot to actually do, but there's a lot to look at. I spot a fire extinguisher, and in the lady's bathroom, there's a coin-operated tampon dispenser along with another kind of dispenser which I think is for condoms. There's also a gentleman's bathroom and an elevator. The former has nothing, but the latter is locked, apparently.

Past that, there's a fork in the road. Each door, locked by another code. I messed around with these a bit at first, but I'm going to start with door number 2. Door number 1 has monsters I can't really fight just yet. Not sure which of the movies it corresponds to. Door 2 is a more traditional adventure game haunted house experience, which corresponds to, what else, House of Horror.

Each studio has a set of cameras in front of it, then the disconnected area which represents what that section's supposed to be. It's obviously magical, and I suspect that anything inside cannot chase me outside. I imagine, at some point I'll have to test it, though running rarely worked in the last game. The direct inside of the place is a foyer with a staircase and two doors left and right of me. I pick the right. 

This leads to a dining room with no other entrance. If you open the serving platter, there's a severed head inside, and you faint and die. Now, at the risk of sounding like an internet tough guy, this is silly. Remember, a corpse just fell on me and I didn't have this reaction. And I'm also the same person who, in Elvira 1, beat up a horde of people, took maggots off a corpse, and did other disgusting things which escape my memory right now. By this point I should not be losing my stuff over a severed head. At this point I should be wondering what the police are going to do when I have to explain it to them and what's going to happen to my insurance premiums. It's so cliche that I knew it was coming. I'm not even sure I'd find it that shocking.

This time around I explore the place. There's not a lot to actually see, unfortunately, it all seems to be flavor, nothing that actually serves a purpose. Perhaps what there is is just well-hidden, but I can't spot it, what I do spot is a thing for a dumbwaiter. This is interesting, and when I click on it, I find another severed head and loss consciousness. When I return to consciousness, I'm in a larder full of corpses. Very effective, except the door out is locked and I'm trapped here. The only clue, short of unlocking the door from the other side, is that there's a temperature gauge attached to an alarm. I'm getting a bad feeling about this game.

Right, well, let's try something else. I note that this is a reasonable sign that the whole willpower aspect works, though I find it extremely annoying, bordering on obnoxious. One place is so far unusable thanks to monsters I can't fight, and this place is dead ends galore. I go back to check the alien set, and it turns out that so far I just suck at fighting. That's a great sign, I can't do anything simply because my stats suck.

There's another area I can't enter under the staircase, every time I try a corpse pops up. I'm already level 2 from simply walking around, and I'm not doing any better than I was. Left at the staircase is the living room. Oh, yeah, two suits of armor in front of a door with halberds. This is going to go well. There's seemingly nothing in here except a cabinet with more flavor items, and a door guarded by a ghost. The most likable character so far. He doesn't do anything to me, just guards the door. I'm going to be sad when I have to get rid of him.

Just before I enter the door, Elvira pops up to talk to me. She tells me the ghost is just a kid who wants something to play with. Gee...thanks. Honestly, first thing you've done that's useful. The door isn't trapped, but it leads to an office. Portrait of a Confederate officer on the wall. What's with '90s horror games set in haunted mansion having connections to the Confederacy? Can't this be in New England or something? On one side is a fish tank with a key in it. I've heard of this before, it's a piranha, I need to both feed it and open the fish tank. On the other is a desk. Inside the drawers are a prayer book and a padlock. Watch me forget that there's a padlock in there until I check a walkthrough and find out it's important, somehow.

Upstairs seems to have a whole set of doors, going all around the area, so I decide on clockwise. First, is a room that's on fire. I can't escape, and I die. That's the fourth option that automatically kills me, but this time there's actually a solution, a fire extinguisher. I hope. Oh, I'm sorry, I can't actually USE it. That's another death. Past then, then left leads to a hallway with more doors. Left there leads to a children's room with nothing but flavor, and right leads to a room where you get knocked asleep by a succubus and then killed. That's five.

Back in the central area, the next door leads to an empty bedroom. Nothing in there at all. Next room seems like it has nothing despite being bigger, until I spot a corpse on a bed. Now this is interesting. I remove the bedsheet, and he has the script on him. I try to take it...and his ghost attacks me. I try to fight, but between the combat being new, different and weird from the last game and likely him being a ghost, I die. That's sixth, but in this case I appreciate what it did.

Rounding out the rooms are a bathroom. It doesn't seem like there's anything in there, but the game draws attention to the stage blood in the sink and the various bath-related objects above the tub. Then it's down the right hallway, first to an unused room with some stuff. Checking objects is annoying, because you can't just click on them and then click look-in, you have to either pick them up and then look-in them, or switch to the room inventory on the upper right. There's a box of matches in one of the boxes though, and a stepladder I'll keep a note of.

Finally, there's the attic. It has a coffin and a vampire pops out. This is done exactly the same as with Personal Nightmare two years ago company time and I forget when my time. Only there's no escape and there's no using a mirror to take him out. Surprised he isn't out at night rather than waiting for me. That's everything in the place for now, I just need to figure out what to do next.

Given that I have a children's room and a child ghost...allegedly, I can take stuff from that room and try to use it on the child. I haven't talked about the way you take/move/use objects, because if you remember the first game, this goes the same way. Click on something, hold it down, then move it when it turns to an open hand. You can do this when it's on-screen, in the room inventory (because not everything will show up) or in your own inventory. In the room inventory, you just move it slightly, otherwise you move it into your inventory or onto the screen. Because you don't actually use things, you just drop them and the magic happens. In the case of the ghost, the blocks from the children's room can be used, but the books, bear and even cradle do nothing. He still hangs out there, so I need more.

Eventually, I figure out that based on how he jumps in front of me when I use the blocks, if I use it one tile away, I can rush the door and enter the library. What's inside? Books which are flying around. The first time around, I only read one before Timmy kicks me out, but after a second try, I figure out that I must have accidentally gone out. It's not exactly a scavenger hunt, since each shelf seems to have its own book that you can read. If you can read it. The only thing I can find is a note for a very strong poison inside a handbook on poisons.

I should clarify what's going on in the other studios so far. The alien picture has three paths. There's an elevator with a locked door. I don't have the key, but I can call it down. Then there are two paths leading to giant worms with nasty teeth which kill me. I can try to fight back, but I'm not really doing anything to them.

Then there's the It Came From Beyond the Grave studio. There's a long path I have to run down in order to reach a chapel. I can't examine the path there, but I suspect there's nothing there anyway. Inside is church with a murdered priest and a door on one end and a pulpit on the other. There's a prayer book in the pulpit, but otherwise, this is just for experience gathering, because the door is locked. There's also a holy water basin I'll need a container for. I'm sure I can think of something I can do with it.

Time to try to get some holy water and throw it at the vampire. That's how things work, at least, that's how they should. Unfortunately, the pitcher I take from the mansion set proves to not be the item the game wants. Hey, maybe the prayer book or the golden cross I found on top of the altar can do something to the vampire? No, no, alas, but no. Presumably, there's some item to get the holy water and I just have to find it. I do try a random bowl I found in the bedroom with the corpse, but it too, doesn't work.

I screw around for a bit in vain around various areas, looking for something, anything I can do to get more progress. I head back to the lobby and screw around with the elevator I thought I needed a key to use. Since my keyset didn't work, I can't use it. Right? Right? No, it's always been unlocked, I just never figured that bit out. Since there isn't one of those firefighter settings on it, I just assumed. This is turning out to be a great session.

I go to the second floor first. There are seven doors here. First on the left is the cafeteria, there's a lot of stuff to click on, but not a lot I can use. The computer room on the right has even less to do. Second on the left is costumes. There's a witch in there who keeps casting a lightning spell. It's a fight, one I can flee from at any moment. Which at this point I pretty much have to do. I keep trying to attack her and I'm not even sure I'm hitting her. This knife I have is the worst thing I've used in a video game in recent memory.

Second on the right is the make-up room, in which there is a lot of stuff I can attach to my face for what I presume will be a good reason later. Right now, it's just a novelty room I've already lost interest in. Third on the left is director's room. My room? Doesn't matter, there's some booze I drink right away and nothing else. Third on the right is Elvira's room, in which I can find dozens of articles of Elvira's clothing, as well as some other stuff. None of which seems useful. At the end is the typist pool, another office, with nothing much of value in it.

In the basement, there's a guy sitting on the ground in the dark. I...can talk to him. There's an improvement this game didn't need, but whatever. He's the stereotypical magical Indian who we have for some reason employed as a janitor. He tells me that he warned us, that the studio was built on an ancient Indian burial ground. Either me and Elvira took all leave of our senses when we bought this place, or real estate prices in California was so bad that potentially dealing with this was worth the amount we saved by not building on uncursed ground. Anyway, he wants his magic spear, magic bag, and ancient tomahawk. I'm not sure if that's the bag behind him, it doesn't seem to be and he doesn't care if I take it. Behind him is a frozen boiler and to my left is a janitors closet.

What about the spells, you may ask? I have been neglecting these, but for the most part it seems like I need to exploit the way you get more XP for exploring tiles to use them. Resist Fire makes me immune to fire damage, but it requires me to be at level 5 and requires a fire extinguisher. I've gotten up to level 4 so far, so I can put the fire room as a future idea. The vampire can be dealt with via a combination of turn undead and unholy barrier. For the former, I need a brain, which my player character lacks. For the latter, just a prayer book. And if absolutely need be, the spell Holy Blast, which needs "two good religious items" and level 5. There's also a spell for courage, which may help the situations I keep finding myself in. It just needs alcohol. There's so much of it around.

I exploit the game's per tile XP mechanics to get as much as possible, then, after getting a bottle of wine from the dining room, make my spell of courage. There are a good three options I can use this on, but my first choice is the hallway with the ghoul in it. This works, but then the ghoul tears open my throat and I'm dead. No option to fight him, just getting killed. So I try the dining room. The severed head on the platter is still alive, but there's nothing I can actually do. The divider between the dining room and the kitchen still causes me to faint, so that's an automatic thing. What else can I do? There's gotta be something I can use the courage spell on.

It turns out, after sheer "try everything and hope something has changed", that the answer was to enter the succubus's room. Technically, she turned from a beautiful woman into some weird-looking monster before killing me, but I didn't think that was the part I had to worry about. I thought I needed something to resist her sleep spell. Guess not. Since I'm not afraid, she just leaves and I can search the room. There's a pillow, and under it, which you might not notice without clicking, is a tuning fork. The former I don't know yet what I'll need it for, but the latter is for a lightning bolt spell.

Time to try the vampire again, this time I cast Unholy Barrier to prevent him from biting my neck. Gee, that makes things annoying to look at, but as long as it works. It doesn't. It kills me again. I go back after reloading to check the room. I can't actually interact with anything. So...do I need a use of Holy Blast or do I need something else? Because I'm not sure I have two good religious items.

I break down and check a walkthrough. That tuning fork? It's the solution. Which I might have been able to figure out if I could have bothered to check if the use function shows up when I click on it. Since I didn't, I never would have figured that out. You know why? Because the game has been training me to not treat the examine function as something useful, because so far it hasn't. I'm not even sure I would have figured that out except via sheer randomness considering that it's an in-door film set, at night.

The tuning fork breaks open the skylight and in comes sunlight. So after I kill the vampire with sunlight, I then can't do anything in here. Figuring this is what the ladder is for, I take that then come back. Behold, the roof, and what I just had to look up a walkthrough for to find out. No, despite the spots which seem like they might have something, there's nothing there. There's nothing here. I have just done all this for nothing.

That's where I'll leave off this session. I'm getting the feeling this is going to be shorter and more frustrating than I expected it to be. Considering that I don't feel like I've actually done anything, yet I've gone through most of one studio, I'm not sure how long this one is going to be. It really depends on how much is going on in the rest of the game.

This Session: 1 hour 50 minutes