Last time I had found the keys to two panels in the sewer section of the game...a few minutes away in a barracks. One fun feature is that the two keys are identical, but are coded to two different locations. Now, I want to point out that's an absolutely terrible game design choice. The only reason why you'd ever make two items identical is if they're, A) Identical in function (in this case, generic keys) or B) A trick. This isn't some complex game design idea either, literally the first time I ever thought up a game I was like, yeah, let's make every item look different. I was a child then. How the hell am I better than a professional?
Anyway, the key brings down a catwalk, standard stuff...except the game goes through four screen transitions to get to the end of a catwalk. This game is definitely overworking the scenery a bit too much. Considering its not much too look at either...
After another long tube upwards, I come across another generic industrial place. Guard no. 1, not visible until he's almost upon me, nice, nice. Guard no. 2, trapped behind a wall, also nice. I get the feeling that this wasn't tested by anyone not part of the development team, or at least they were unheard.
Behind the second guard I come across what I assume is a training room. There's some awful generic sexy music going on, weird choice for a game based off a children's cartoon, but whatever. The camera angles feel like someone's watching me. I hear another guard eventually. Where is he? I don't know, but he has a gun. He can hit me through walls sometimes, lovely.
It takes a few tries, fighting a guy with a gun while using a sword seems unwise, but whatever. He drops a key, maybe to that center door. Nearby there's a gun, which brings the amount I have up to three. I think its safe to use one of these at this point.
Giving it a test, you get the usual dodge moves, plus a behind the back shot, very Blackthrone, also not helpful. The rest are just various cool shooting poses. The rest of this area proves interesting, it doesn't give me any use for any of the items, but I find a couple of health items and ANOTHER gun. This is considerably more generous than I was led to believe. Clearly, I'll be able to handle the other locked area much easier.
Oh, I'm sorry, that's because the gun is absolute crap. You can't aim this thing. This makes Alone in the Dark look like a precision shooter. Because Quentin's turning radius is really quick, you can't hit something with the precision the hitboxes require. This isn't a problem with the sword, because most of the time I use horizontal slashes, but you can still see where the sword is pointing.
There's a puzzle here, a door you can't enter. So you use the uniform, hope you opened that chest earlier. This shows a cutscene where Quentin walks into a room covered in a guard uniform, then after the the cutscene ends, is presumably charged by two guards. At this point the game once again starts crashing without fail. As much as I hate to give up, at this point its another code puzzle, with more fighting for no real point except saying I won a game you can already see the ending of. The ending cutscenes are really just more things taken from the animated series. What's the point?
Final Time: 5.5 hours
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