Saturday, February 15, 2020

Isle of the Dead: Not-Alive, but Not-Dead

Ah, the safety of town. Reminds me of King's Quest 2. Which is about the only time this game is going to do that. Well, those zombies aren't going to resurrect themselves. To find the other chief.
One more thing of interest when fighting the not-alives, is that the child one can be shot a great distance away. This would be quality work if this also didn't apply to the other enemies at times. Mostly it only works against enemies that it should.
The second village is right in front of a horde of the undead. Right in front. Joy o' joy, oh happy day. Who designed this and thought, that's a good idea? Because that's the kind of guy who shouldn't be designing levels. The guards in the new village surprisingly seem to be different drawings than the ones in the first village.
How not to add hotspots, the game
Inside, we can continue our thieving rampage and...perv on some native woman in the shower. Now, normally, I'm not going to complain about T&A in a game, but come on. What is likely less than a minute ago, I shot a zombie with his guts hanging out, another using his severed head as a weapon, and a kid zombie. Yep, time to look at some titties! Get that motor running. VROOM! VROOM! Right, enough of that. There's a new track, which is some guy playing the bongos. It is incredibly annoying.
I was tired of being on barrel duty
I get another dialog with a chief. You know, talking to these characters is annoying, because each time I do so I have to use the translation book. Its not a puzzle, because its incredibly obvious. Its just busywork. Anyway, Mr. Gay Stereotype here complains about all the men disappearing, but he wants me to stop the music track. This is done by killing the bongo player, not turning the music off. Killing him literally turns off the music. Turning the music off does nothing.
Anyway, I must take the other chief's amulet to the oracle and maybe get a sacrifice. That's all I got in-between the devs making fun of themselves for drawing the same characters twice. At this point I mistakenly went back to the previous village and found out that wasn't what I was supposed to do. Upon reloading I come back to the village with a different song. One that sounds fun and like something from a platformer. Easter Egg? I'll see.
So I leave the general area. Its hard to know exactly what I'm doing because these levels are terrible. First, I reach another area with a stone wall. I never noticed it before, but the stone walls are very badly made. Wow, I'm so shocked this game did poorly. Level transitions are difficult to figure out, it mostly involves hitting the wall with the machete and hoping you hit something, then standing there. If you have been standing there, you move automatically.
I also found out here that if you save while having the machete equipped, then reload that save, you have infinite reach with the machete. This is removed whenever you change rooms. Quality.
I only realized it now, but the female zombie looks wrong here
The next section I encountered was an area in front of a fence full of zombies. This is fine, since it seems to be the entrance to the final area of the game. There only seems to be the one entrance from the jungle though. I could be wrong. The PC is also bigger than one tile wide, as there was a corner piece I was unable to enter.
This occurs twice when it happens too
Wow, the first actual death cutscene I've seen. This is seemingly the censored version, that is, it doesn't play the zombie death scene. It seems to be missing the file, so either someone screwed up ripping this thing or there are three versions of the game. So graphic zombie dead is bad. Electrocution is fine though. Suicide is too, now that I remember it. Plane crashes...zombies...Anyway, a mad scientist appears each time you die. This doesn't make any sense until I actually get inside, I think. So, this is a bust. Good.
Another area full of stone, this time on top of a cave. The machete glitch seems random. Given how plentiful ammo is I suspect most of the dev team didn't use the knife enough to notice. There's not much to say about this one.
Underground reveals a new enemy, bats. Who look freaking massive yet are very much not. I find myself some rifle ammo down here. There are two exits in this cave, one to each side of a seemingly flipped stone area. I did not check the other seemingly flipped area extensively yet.
The area is a person's face. That's really fucking lazy.
I swear this happened, I just didn't get a good shot
To top this area off, I find this guy hiding in the walls. They're coming out of the walls indeed. This happened again later.
PROTIP: Zombies can't go over holes
There's a vine in the center of the cave that leads to a completely new area. Full of not-alives and a flower.
They actually breath when unalerted
At this point I lose interest in documenting this properly. I journey through an area or two of lifeless island terrain. If you ever want an answer as to how to do an island wrong...Anyway, I come across a vast cave system. This brings me to another new enemy, the wolves. They're wolves and they're about the size of a bear. These caves have a lot of rifle ammo.
Meanwhile, sometime later, back on the surface, there's nothing much going on beyond poor enemy placement. I think the tree may be dead enemies. I have not yet talked about the map system. The map shows the area you're currently in, with "X"s for marking dead enemies. No live enemies, no exits, no nothing. Now, I may be alone in this, but I never had any problems with figuring out where I was in the area I was in, just in relation to other areas. You know, because there's all these dead guys wandering around...
I can't get a picture of that, so here's this instead
In yet another area I find out that if you and a zombie occupy the same space at the same time, they can't attack you. Right, nothing more of value here...
Can you spot the problem?
To bring my session to a close, I find a bunker. This area is located directly on the beach, so if you decide to play this, that's where you should look. It appears to be a Japanese or maybe American installment. Don't question game logic, by now nothing really makes sense. Firstly, looking around, there's a corpse off to the side. A real old corpse. In one bit of actual cleverness, you can get or talk to the corpse. The game will call you sick. If you use the corpse the game will call you really sick. If you want to see this gag in a good game, play In the Dead of Night, which has multiple gags relating to doing object-related tasks on the human characters. In front, that's a rifle, I think it'll be useful. There's a crate of ammo that's really useful. There are a couple of tricks the developers pull with the rifle, but if you wish to not know how this goes down, you should skip now.
Firstly, if you don't notice the tripwire, you'll get vaporized. So you use wirecutters on them so you don't die. Then you get it out and you fire it and this happens...
That's the shotgun and neither have pistol grips
Just like a Japanese rifle* to do that. You need to use oil you find in the bunker on the gun in order for it to not kill you. Is it worth it? Its slower, but it does more damage. It would be worth it if there weren't a thousand shells lying around. To be honest, even if there weren't, it wouldn't matter, at that point Cheat Engine would be employed because that would be bull.

Where does this leave me? Well, I have a jewel I found in the cave of a man's face, a flower I found in the area of vines atop that. I am no closer to finding the oracle than I was when I started. I have most of the items, so I do believe I'm at least halfway through.

*I don't recall any issues with Japanese rifles, but a good chunk of WWII Japanese pistols are objectively bad. As in, if you fire it, you will possibly have it explode in your hands or it will shoot backward. Superior Nippon steel indeed.

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